Marley - We Are Not Amused
January 6th, 2009
Lassie will be spinning in her grave to see the disgraceful examples set by Hollywood hounds in these, perhaps the most decadent times for dogs since the days of the Roman Empire.
It was only a few decades ago that dogs on the big screen set exemplary examples to young pups everywhere. Whether it was running off to the farm to get help or promoting Campbell’s soup, there was little (indeed nothing) with which to castigate the legendary Lassie - nor any of the other big-screen dogs whose perfectly charming exploits raised generations of puppies with the idea that caninity is a badge of honor, not a free pass to disgrace ones-self with an endless series of imbecilic shenanigans.
Which is why I don’t even need to see the movie “Marley & Me” in order to denounce it as crass, uncouth, loutish, tasteless, boorish, crude and a whole bunch of other words I’m looking at in my thesaurus right now. According to my nephew Pip, who has seen the movie - the star of the flick, in the course of two hours, is seen chewing up multiple sofas, terrorizing a pet sitter, swallowing a necklace, eliminating wherever he pleases, losing control during thunderstorms and knocking over his trainer.
Yes, I’ve done all of these things - in abundance. But I will tell you this! I didn’t learn it from Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Strongheart, Toto, Benji, The Littlest Hobo or Columbo’s basset. The point is, without the influence of these screen titans I would have probably done them a whole lot more.
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