Watson To Thank For Poop Sherlocks
September 22nd, 2008
Watson being, of course, one half of the famed egg-headed duo James Watson and Francis Crick - the chirpy English geezers who unlocked the secrets of life through their discovery of the structure of deoxyribonucleic acid, or “DNA” for those with tight schedules.
They would have literally exploded with pride had they known, all those years ago, that their earth-shattering discovery would eventually be put to use, not in the creation of revolutionary new medicines through genetic engineering, or the identification of gene mutants which lead to disease inheritance, or in the piecing together of an evolutionary jigsaw which has helped mankind better understand our origins, our relationship to other animals and ultimately, our future - no, the intrepid pair would have felt an uncontrollable surge of pride had they known that one day, not too far into the future, their discovery would be used to work out which dog done what poop.
Authorities in Petah Tikva, a town near Tel Aviv, have been compiling a DNA database of dog’s eggs so that should someone have to spend half the day scraping the offending bête noire out of the intricate tread of their hip new sneakers, the nefarious hound what done it can be hauled up before Judge Poo-dy in record time.
Of course the only dogs who need be worried are those who are actually ashamed of their sidewalk chef-d’œuvres. In my case, no DNA identification is required. Those familiar with the streets of New York City will know what I’m talking about. Just look out for the little yellow flags which read “Property of Bob”. I have no shame.
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