Stop Feeding Us Your Crap
September 19th, 2008
It’s official - your human food is low grade junk and is not fit to pass through the superior gut of a dog. We did not evolve to eat the bacon, pasta, bagels, chocolate or Ritz Cheese Crackers that humans inexplicably cram into their funnels on a daily basis.
See, you humans are like train furnaces. You can shovel any old crap in there and get away with it. Dogs, however, are like Lear jets. You can’t just fill them up with peanuts and pretzels and expect them to get you to Rio and back.
Says Sherry Woodward, an animal behavior consultant for Best Friends Animal Shelter:
…human food has fat, grease and spices and these things can cause dogs to have upset stomachs, bloating and gas.
In other words, human foods cause dogs to develop human traits. Sometimes I take the elevator in my building and it’s like a frog’s chorus in there. Belching, farting - you name it. It’s hardly surprising, given the shrink-wrapped pig swill and the frozen rat’s droppings you call “dinner”.
The only thing I disagree with in that article is the alcohol - I enjoy a small glass of red wine with my kibble in the evening and I’m sure millions of other dogs do too. But we drink responsibly. When was the last time you saw a dog chained naked to a lamppost with “slap me, I deserve it” written on his chest?
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