Stones Are The New Bones
September 13th, 2008
If you’ve ever worried that your dog’s chances of being mugged on the streets of New York were too low, then look no further than these stunning canine crime-magnets. Masterfully crafted by master craftsmen who are masters of their craft, you won’t find a swankier set of dog diamonds for less than $2-million, not even at Petco.
Imagine how graceful and majestic your metropolitan mutt will look crouched between two parked cars with knees-a-tremble sporting these babies. Picture the stark juxtaposition between diamond and fire-hydrant as your proud pooch cocks their leg. Anticipate the pride which will swell in your heart as Foo-Foo dives into a flock of pigeons on the sidewalk to help them with an old pizza crust, the shiny multi-million dollar stones around their neck scraping along the vomit-encrusted pavement as you congratulate yourself on having made perhaps the most astute, sagacious purchase of your entire life.
And Foo-Foo will thank you for it! “The other dogs were getting bored of bullying me down at the dog run”, she’ll say, “and now I have something which will rekindle their interest in chasing me under the benches for weeks to come.”
But hang on a minute. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. A dog is man’s best friend. So a diamond encrusted dog makes a perfect wedding gift, right? Or should I just go with the George Foreman grill?
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