Puppies Asked To Mind Their Own Business
September 17th, 2008
The O’Sullivan puppies of Lanford, IL came under fire again Tuesday as neighbor Ralph Peterson asked them once more to mind their own damn business.
The meddlesome litter, who are rarely seen attending to their own affairs, peered over Peterson’s fence for the last damn time as he attended to various chores in his yard - the nature of which were of no concern to anyone else but him, according to reports.
“If I have to come over there, I swear, I’ll have your paws for garters,” a visibly livid Peterson fumed, a small hint of white foam beginning to form on the left side of his bottom lip. “Why the hell do you think there’s a fence? Think, dogs, think,” the long-suffering construction foreman suggested, prodding his right temple with his index and middle fingers in rhythm as he spoke.
No response was forthcoming from the pups, whose eyes followed Peterson in unison as he paced up and down during his blistering rant - an almost daily occurrence, according to wife Kitty who spoke to us on condition of anonymity. “I think they’re kinda cute,” the 45 year old dental assistant confided, “and you have to be impressed, I mean that fence is 7ft tall. What the hell are they even standing on?”
Local officer Maurice Powell told us that he’s been called to the Peterson house on numerous occasions to deal with issues of privacy invasion - and it’s not just the O’Sullivan pups taking the flack. “He called us last April to report a duck up a tree with some binoculars,” Powell explained. “I really think he believes the neighborhood animals are out to get him.”
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