Moron Dog Ruins Photograph
September 24th, 2008
A Cape Cod couple are fuming after their feckless jackass of a dog, Freelance, ruined yet another once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity for his owners, Harold and Marjorie Hilditch yesterday.
The pair were all set to ensure their place in birdwatching history after they spotted a Broad-Billed Hummingbird - a rare species usually found only in Arizona and Mexico - perched confidently atop their yard fence in Hyannis as they enjoyed a game of outdoor Scrabble at around 5pm Tuesday.
“I said to my wife, I said, ‘Say,’ I said, ‘Isn’t that one of those Broad-Billed Hummingbirds, the type you only usually see in Arizona or Mexico?’”, Harold told us, “and she says ‘yes Harold,’ she says, ‘I do believe it is.’ So I said ‘get the camera,’ and she got the camera.”
After a minor disagreement over whose hands were the steadiest, it was decided that Marjorie would take the shot. “I was nervous, yes,” she explained, “but at that point it was pretty much a done deal. That bird was going nowhere. We have one of those newfangled digital doohickeys that sets up the focus and exposure for you, so all I had to do was press the button.”
Which she did - at the exact same moment their nefarious hound decided to make life very difficult for himself over the next two weeks by leaping in front of the camera like a spring-loaded, furry idiot-missile just as the button was pressed - blocking the shot and startling the bird back into the air, its fast-beating wings flapping its metallic green body and vibrant blue throat out of the Hilditch’s lives forever.
“We can’t even take the camera out of its case without that flop-eared mule thinking it’s for his benefit,” Harold told us, “and he makes a show of himself every time without fail. Last month we were trying to take a picture of the car for the classifieds and he kept jumping through the window and putting his front paws on the steering wheel with a cigar in his mouth. In the end, we just decided to keep it.”
Tuesday’s incident marks the seventh time that Freelance has ruined a once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity since pulling a moony in front of the photographer’s camera at the Hilditch’s daughter’s wedding just as she kissed the groom.
The dog was tonight confined to his crate and unable to comment.
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