From Wolves to Wimps
September 18th, 2008
Further to my earlier post on the wimpification of dogs, a subject which I feel very strongly about, I would like to draw your attention if I may to the latest atrocity in this conspiracy.
Another dog tournament is afoot, in Howell, Michigan - and this time the winning ribbons are being allocated for such feats as having the “longest tail” and the “best costume”. No doubt there will also be prizes for having the fluffiest ears, the softest whiskers and the most heartbreakingly adorable whimper.
Additional events include “Tic-Tac-Paw” (stupid), musical chairs (asinine), the “bone dog relay” (pointless) and I presume anything else they can think of which makes a mockery of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Lassie will be spinning in her grave and I do not blame her one little bit. It’s time we fought back against the tide of political correctness and the doctrine which says “we’re all winners”. We’re not all winners. We weren’t all created equally. I can jump higher than any damn teacup Yorkie and it’s about time there was a competition which allowed me the glory of proving it.
If things carry on the way they are it won’t be long before there’s not a dog fit enough to guard a doll’s house, let alone a scrapyard or a factory.
The worst part of it is that cats everywhere are laughing it up and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
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